This won’t hurt a bit

The PR arm of Environment Canada has been trying to tell us shark bites don’t hurt.

Well, not literally – but bear with me for a moment.

This from Reuters: research shows that sharks have weak jaws and can’t bite very hard. Really… But of course, the bite of large sharks can do horrifying damage because of their size and the sharpness of their teeth.

So shark bites are still something you want to avoid, weak jaw muscles or not. Right?

Still, Environment Canada thinks it can spin it the other way and make us believe size doesn’t matter. To them, it’s all about jaw muscles, or intensity.

The core of Canada’s plan to reduce greenhouse gases causing climate change (announced last year by then-Environment minister John Baird) is to force industries to get more efficient. They can produce as much stuff as they want, but they must gradually lower the amount of gases emitted for each unit of production.

Just like our shark: they say it doesn’t matter how large the bloody animal gets, because the jaw muscles are fairly weak for its size. So it won’t hurt a bit. That’s their spin.

I am not buying the spin. Nether are those guys, this one, this gentleman, Mr. Brus here, or this editorial board. Even Canwest’s good old Don Martin thinks the Environment Minister is a wimp.

To convince us all, perhaps Environment Minister Jim Prentice should demonstrate the principle of intensity reduction by swimming in a pool with a couple of hungry, large, weak-jawed sharks. There’s nothing more convincing than a demonstration.

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